Mondays are crap, and this one was up there with the crapiest. I get that feeling Sunday night like when I was teaching. That, on]h man, I have to work tomorrow!!! And you might be thinking, you are a stay at home mom? Y'all- it was work with one, more work with two, but with three? Yeah, it's WORK! Constantly. Not like brain surgery, but that constant flow of work. Sometimes I miss teaching because it was more relaxing. (Teachers, stop throwing rocks at your computer, I put a huge emphasis on sometimes. I know how hard y'all work, TRUST ME.)
When I worked when Avery was a baby, all I wanted was to be home with her. Then after Eliza was about six months old, all I wanted was to be back at work. And so the saying goes, the grass is always greener… This round, however, has been different. If I go places with all three kiddos, it's the biggest logistical operation of my life. I'm telling you, I have learned many valuable lessons. Like, don't put the baby in the ergo before taking the toddler out of the carseat. Or, don't assume that Eliza will know how to walk next to you holding your hand to cross the street like Avery does; she will most definitely want to be held, etc.
I have also learned to accept the offers of assistance from others. Like, at the doctors office last week, where I'm possibly getting my mail forwarded to, I decided to wear Ivy while walking with both girls. But Eliza was sick, so she needed to be held. She's on my hip, Ivy strapped to my chest, and Avery? Was she there? Oh yeah, she was. When Eliza's appointment happened, she just had to be held by me, all of me. I took Ivy off and she starts crying, so the sweetest receptionist of all time said she'd hold her. She held Ivy for the whole appointment! Then, hey! The 18 month old has double ear infections! So, as I'm making a follow up appointment, Eliza screaming in pain, and Avery… she was there? The receptionist walks us to our car in the parking garage. I mean, that's nice. Real nice. She probably just felt sorry for me, but again, I'll take it! IT TAKES A VILLAGE! (I have way more to say about how we have been cared for, because it's been one of the most beautiful things I have experienced, but that will come in time. Mainly so that I never forget!)
But then there comes this purpose. I have never felt more needed in my life. And my maternal instinct is on fire these days! I didn't feel like I had any of that with either girls. Ivy and me; we are tight. I get her, and I know what each cry means. I know when something's up, I just know her so well. She turns to my voice, and gives me these smirks that reduce me to a puddle. I have breathed her in so many times, even at 3 in the morning, I adore her little nose. Who adores a nose at that time? Oh, I do. Cause, have you seen her nose?? Maybe it's because I can see Avery and Eliza and know that we must be doing something right with these babies because they do end up growing and turning into people. I mean, look at them!!
So while tomorrow may come with its own set of challenges, I will get up and know that my purpose is real and deep. That how I speak to my children matters, that how I approach these challenges is being watched, and that the way I love is teaching three beautiful ladies how to love. Oh what a calling.