i'm in a good place

meet lucille, my new bikemy adorable husband in his mardi gras bow tie

my favorite little cat in the hat, Tahj

Whenever Ken is really enjoying himself, he'll look to me and say, "i'm in a good place right now," and for me, being his wife, and hearing that more and more frequently; makes me so happy. We have a great life here in New Orleans. We have found a place, or this place found us, where we fit in. Where I can teach and embrace my immense love for children in need, where Ken can work for our church doing disaster relief and has a unique opportunity to be in the lives of so many people in the city, where we can ride our bikes to church on Sunday, where we can be part of a community of genuine and honest believers who are loving, adventurous, and never judgmental, where we can fall more in love with each other and the Lord in our daily lives.

Please note: I'm writing this blog after waking up from a migraine that caused me to vomit at work, but even in that, I find joy. Even though during my lunch break and took a short nap on the piece of carpet I have in my classroom, I'm still happy. And it's not this surface happy that I'm feeling. It's deep joy. I know we have moments in our lives when we feel God, or hear Him, or know more than normal that he is present in our lives. I had such a moment yesterday. To make this moment as sweet as it was, many things led up to it. All of course was orchestrated by Him.

I'm been discontent with my school lately. Not pleased with the administration, and seeing injustice taking place. Injustice not to the teachers, but to the students. Not cool because since I have become a teacher, I'm like a crazy mama bear if someone messes with my students. Don't go there. I guess I have a maternal way about me, but seriously, when my kids are wronged, oh girl-watch out. Anyway, yesterday a bunch of things happened that really pissed me off. I left school that day frustrated. And as per usual, I called Ken for my debrief of the day. It normally consists of me saying, "You'll never believe what happened today...etc, etc, etc." Yesterday, it was different. I just started crying. Ken tried to comfort me, but my phone cut out. So I continued on with my drive, and this song came on my ipod. Third Day's, "I've Always Loved You." This is the only song I have by them and I downloaded it because it was like from a wedding mix or something. Anyway, the lyrics are great, and did something to me yesterday:

I don't know how to explain it
But I know that words will hardly do

Miracles with signs and wonders

Aren't enough for me to prove to you

Don't you know I've always loved you
Even before there was time

Though you turn away
I'll tell you still
Don't you know I've always loved you

And I always will

Greater love has not a man

Than the one who gives his life to prove

That he would do anything
And that's what I'm going to do for you

And with the sun shining brighter, I felt this joy. I was crying even more, but it was an outpouring of joy. Even though we live in a broken word with broken people, God loves us. He always has, He always will. With my frustrations at work, trying to make a difference, trying to see change in this terrible public school system, God is in it. I have been compartmentalizing my life lately. There's home when I'm so full of love for Ken and God and my community, and then there's work where I'm pissed, bitter, and complaining. I wasn't letting Christ come into my work. I wasn't letting Him guide the potential of me moving schools next year. I wasn't letting Him show my the true needs of my kids and how I can help meet them with love. Yesterday, Christ came in, even though He's been there the whole time, I acknowledge it. And it felt so good, so good.


consideritpurejoy said...

Oh Melanie,

So good to hear you've settled into a life you love. I'll be praying your school situation gets better. How cute is that that Ken says "I'm in a good place" more and more often. I can imagine how much that warms your heart!

I love you,

emily said...

praise the Lord indeed! i LOVE that song (amazing how the simplest of things can touch us the deepest) and i get chills everytime i hear it. i was almost crying reading what you wrote and i'm so thankful you shared it!
love you girl.

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